So, with my drive to Colorado Springs the past couple days, my long term assignment is beginning in earnest. While I have been out here quite a bit over the past several months, I am now here for good and any business trips will be back to Huntsville. On a previous trip, M- and I had found an apartment, mainly so that M had a place to stay for his internship. Now is my turn to settle into the apartment instead of just feeling like I am visiting him. This is good.
I have unpacked and put away all of the items that E-, Rebbie, and I packed into my little car. It is nice that I am already familiar with the apartment and the surrounding blocks around the building and I am not feeling like I am starting completely from scratch, although I still feel very close to that point. This is good.
I am ready to truly live here, take in the new location and all of the sites and sounds that it has to offer, and immerse myself in new things. It is going to be scary, no doubt, but I do not feel scared and I have not had one ounce of questioning this decision. This is good.
To me, the fact that I am not doubting is miraculous. I doubt my own decisions on a daily basis. I question myself and what I choose to do all the time. I am my own devil's advocate whether I want to be or not. I hate failing at anything and so usually end up making choices that make the probability of failure essentially non-existent. This is not good.
But not with this. Right now, there is no doubt. There is no questioning my own choice. There is just the feeling that this is what I needed at this point in my career and the feeling of expectation of what might come. Bring it on. If I fail this time, I don't care. I really don't. If it doesn't work out, at least I will be able to say that I didn't take the safe path and I will be satisfied. This is good.
The only other decision I have made in my life that I had no doubts about at all was the decision that E- was the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. That one decision alone has set the tone for my life and is the cornerstone that everything else has become dependent on. This is great.
While I am positive that this choice was the right choice at this point in my life, there is one bad part of how it is starting out. The bad part of right now has to do with running. I have been looking forward to being here long term and training in the altitude. My training was going great and my workouts were truly being a blessing to me, until 2 weeks ago, when a pesky calf decided that I was having too much fun. Since then I haven't been able to run. I tried this morning and it was a quick no-go. This is killing me, finally being here in the scenery, the altitude, and the cool morning temps, and not being able to step outside and run. If I were more of a cussing man, I would have a full blown rant at my calf. This is not good.
But, while I cannot have as much fun as I want to be having right now, that still isn't diminishing how much I am looking forward to the coming months and more. This is good.
I am finally here and it is finally starting for good. I have already found several local places that are becoming my haunts. Loyal Coffee (essentially connected to my apartment building - not good for the wallet), Switchback Roasters, and Wild Goose Meeting House are becoming my coffee places. Iron Bird Brewing Company (again, connected to my apartment building) and many other local places (probably going to be too many) are becoming my places to go grab a drink when I feel like it. Lots of new and great places to eat when I don't feel like cooking. Lots of new events and evening concerts to start visiting. This is good.
I hope that all of you out there that are considering making decisions, in the middle of making a decision, or starting out after a decision have as much peace and confidence in your thought process and your decisions as I have right now in mine. May it be good.
