As some may know, I am getting old. While many don't consider getting close to 50 as getting old, others likely do. Around this time is when many folks go through their "mid-life crisis". While this may actually be a thing, I think it is better described as a feeling of wanting to do something that one has always wanted to do rather than a crisis.
For instance, for a long time, I have wanted to get a tattoo. I am adverse to needles and adverse to pain and doing something that involved both of these was a very hard thing to convince myself to do. My brain wanted it; my body, not so much. Part of the procrastination in following through with getting a tattoo involved my indecisiveness with what to get for a design and worrying that I would not be happy with what I ended up getting.
Did I mention the pain part, too?
For the longest time, I would tell my family that when (i.e. if) I got a tattoo it would be the Warner Bros roadrunner, you know the one that Wile E. Coyote can never catch and the one that can run through painted on tunnels. This tattoo would combine two of my passions, running and Warner Bros cartoons.
Fast forward to 2017. Here I was 49 years old and closing in fast on 50. Still no tattoo of roadrunner or of anything else. I had had enough. Call it a crisis if you want, I call it finally following through.
Back in Feb, I got my first tattoo; a trial run for the one I really wanted that was going to take longer to get. My first one was a pretty quick one, took maybe 45 minutes at most. It combined two of my passions as well, God and running. It is a "painted cross" and I have my favorite Bible verse, Isaiah 40:31, as well as my marathon PR. The pain, while there, was not as bad as my imagination had determined it would be. It was pain, but in a weird way. My mind couldn't quite place it. Felt sort of like I was being cut, but yet I wasn't. Odd. I relied upon my mind's ability to relax and disassociate that I had honed over years of marathon training and racing, and quite honestly, I think it worked. At least I didn't immediately cancel my appointment with Victor, the artist that was going to do my "main" tattoo, let me put it that way.
So, that brings me to yesterday. It was the day. The day I was getting the tattoo that I had wanted since I was in college. While I was still getting a roadrunner, my earlier running persona that wanted the WB version had given way to my later running persona that wanted a more realistic version of a roadrunner. This one was going on my calf and would consist of the roadrunner as well as the words "And when I run..." which is the first part of my favorite running related quote from the movie Chariot's of Fire, "And when I run, I feel His pleasure."
3+ hrs later and many mind games and much disassociation later, Victor from Blue Rose Tattoo had transformed my mind's vision into a true work of art that I get to carry around with me. (Aside: if you are thinking about a tattoo, seriously, go see Victor @ Blue Rose) I am not going to post a pic right now, I want it to heal and then I will post one. I want to do it justice. I am doing everything I can to make sure it heals properly so that I can show Victor's work off like it deserves.
So here I sit, my calf feeling like it was the only part of my body that was left out in the sun too long. My mind is still worrying that I won't like it even though I have already seen it after it was finished. My mind is still worrying that I will do something to it while it is healing and will totally mess it up. But I have finally followed through with something that I have wanted to do for a long, long time. I am sort of proud of myself. Did I mention that I am still worried I am going to mess it up? Welcome to my mind...
So, if this is my mid-life crisis, so be it. As E- has mentioned, it is better than blowing a lot of money on a sports car or buying a motorcycle and attempting to kill myself on it. If this is my mid-life crisis, then I will take it. However, it is not a crisis to me; it is giving in to something that I have wanted to do for a while.
Are any of you approaching your "mid-life crisis" point? Anything you have wanted to do for a long time, and have just been putting off or talking yourself out of?