Observing and the Benefit of the Doubt

As most of you know that know much about me, I love God, I love my family, I love running, I love listening to all kinds of music, and I love coffee and coffee shops.  Mostly in that order, maybe coffee before music.

One of my other favorite pastimes though is using my powers of observation and sitting in places and just people watching.  I think that's one reason I love coming to coffee shops in the mornings on weekends or sitting in breweries sipping a good stout in the evening.  They are great places to sit and think about my plans and my life in general, but they are also great places to watch the bustle of humanity come through or walk by.

I like pondering what the people passing through have planned for their day.  I like seeing what books are being read and whether the person reading them is enjoying them.  I like wondering if I would like the music they are listening to.  I liked wondering if the employees working are enjoying their work or if they are just putting on a smile for the customers.

I enjoy watching the first dates, the blind dates, the business meetings, the new employees learning their job and their roles, the runners and cyclists getting some coffee after their training, the young puppies being socialized, and the older couples just sitting and enjoying each others company and life in general.

One of the reasons I believe I have been successful in what I do in my job is because I am observant. I pick up on very minor things that just don't look right or on things that just don't feel right.  Once you are able to notice these little hints and clues, then you can focus on them and ignore the rest of the chaff that is just covering and you can start to figure out what really is going on.  I not only put this to use at work, but it is what makes people watching so fun to me.

There are a lot of people I see that are downright rude, or obviously having a really bad day, and lately I have been trying to view these people with the lens that there has to be good in all people and that everyone has that something that they are dealing with or struggling with in their life.  I watch the employee that is obviously off their game and wonder what they are thinking about even as they are trying to do their job.  I watch the person on their phone who is obviously having a conversation they would rather not be having.  I watch the young couple on a date and wonder if they feel like this is another dead end.  When you try to give people the benefit of the doubt that they are trying and you look at them with the lens that something else in their life is causing them to act like they are, then I believe you are being a better fellow human.  It is a struggle sometimes to think this when someone is behaving in a manner that leads to them not treating you or someone else very well, but I think it is a worthy attitude to try to have.

If you enjoy observing others or even if you don't normally do it, I encourage you to give it a try and to give folks the benefit of the doubt.  Assume there is some reason they are in a bad mood or that they appear to be angry.  If you assume this, then you can start to see them as good people.  Look them in the eyes and give them a smile.  Heck, just look them in the eye and give them the recognition that says someone cares they are here.  Say a kind word to them even if you do not think they deserve one.

Oh, and have fun just people watching.

Lifeline

Been a little while since I last posted.  I have busy going back and forth between AL and CO and trying to settle into a new routine in a new city and state.  Getting new hangouts (which is pretty easy since there is a coffee shop as well as a brewery within 50 yds of my apartment building), finding new places to run, and exploring a new location have taken up most of my time besides work.

As I expected, the hardest part is being away from E- for long stretches of time.  I knew this part was going to be hard and it still continues to be.  This process is solidifying one thing though.  How much I love her and how much I enjoy being with her.  I have known for a very, very long time now, since our graduate school days in Clemson, that she is my best friend.  However, I now have cemented it in my brain that she is much more than that.  I cannot put into words how nice it is for me when I know that she is in the same house as I am.  I don't have to be in the same room and don't have to be in visible contact with her.  I just have to know that she is there and I am happy and content.  I just have to know that I can find her and give her a hug and a kiss if I want to.  I just have to know that I can hear her voice if I want to.  It sounds cliché, but she is my soul mate in every sense of the word.

When I wake up in the morning here in CoS or when I walk in the door when getting home from work, I have that momentary thought of looking for her.  It is quickly replaced by being somewhat disheartened when I remember where I am and where she is.  She is in my thoughts a lot.  I definitely miss her big time.  Even though we are miles apart, I still feel that lifeline that connects me to her.  It is my fuel line and it is what sustains me.  It has for over 25 years now and I am more dependent on it now than I have ever been.  Without it, I truly believe I would waste away to nothingness.

So, while I sit here enjoying one of my new hangouts, I have many wishes.

I wish she was across the table from me reading a book and enjoying a coffee with me.

I wish she was here so I could show her that I am capable of cooking a decent dinner even though I still have my doubts.

I wish she was here to enjoy exploring this city with me.

I wish she was here so I could see and hear her when I wake up in the morning, when I get home from work, and that she is the last thing I see before going to sleep at night.

I wish she was here so that my lifeline was not stretched quite so far.

I wish she was here because she is my best friend and she is my soul mate.

I wish she was here.