Run to Race or Race to Run

I have been thinking the last couple of weeks about races.  Not about running one really, but just about those larger races that have taken place the last couple of months.  I see folks I know talking online about races they participated in or have coming up or speak to local runners about how their races went.  With Memorial Day just occurring, there was a lot of talk about Bolder Boulder and locally about the Cotton Row Run here in Huntsville.  When reading about folks races and talking to others, I am really not jealous that I didn't get to race with them.  I haven't really felt anything that would be classified as missing running in the races.  I have sort of been like this my whole life, but here in the past 3 years maybe, I have not had the urge to jump in weekend races or participate in many races during the year.

Now don't get me wrong, I still absolutely love running. You may think I am nuts, but I enjoy my alarm going off at 5 and finding the inner push to get out of bed and get out on the roads.  I enjoy the training.  I thrive on the self-motivation.  I enjoy having a plan from Coach Will and I love having the discipline to follow that plan.  I love the track workouts; I love the tempo runs; I love the long runs; I love the short, easy recovery runs. Ok - truth in advertising, I only like the tempo runs.  I love when they are over and I have accomplished them though.  There is something satisfying about having a plan and accomplishing that plan week after week.

I just do not love the races though.  I am not talking about not loving the effort required to run a race.  I am talking about just not feeling it when it comes to stepping up to the starting line.  I am likely in the minority among runners, here.  I feel like most runners enjoy racing and tolerate training so that they can race harder and faster.  I, on the other hand, only really use a race as a focal point to base my training around.  It gives a little upper to just going out every day and doing whatever sort of training run I feel like doing.  It adds a plan to the training.  I like the idea of a race being somewhere out there in the future that my training is based around.  I just don't like when it comes time for that race.

To be honest again, most times waking up on the morning of a race, driving to the race, and toeing the starting line actually mildly terrifies me.  Yes, you read that correctly.  It scares me.  Now I have always had nerves when it comes to racing, but the past couple of years those nerves have morphed into being downright scared.  I do not know what is scary to me.  I don't think it is some innate fear of failure or fear of not placing somewhere high, but I cannot rule that out I guess.  Maybe with the injuries that have plagued me over the past couple of years, I now have instilled a correlation in my head to racing and having a sidelining injury and my body and mind would rather not race than have to take a long time off from training.  I have joked with myself many times that a sports psychologist is what I really need.

My running self has evolved into someone that races to run.  What I mean by that is I would rather just be training for a race than actually racing.  I no longer run to race.  I no longer put up with training so that it makes me a better racer.  In thinking about this over the past several weeks, I don't know if this is normal for folks my age that are well on the downward slope of the ability graph.  Is this something that comes about when you are somewhere around the half century mark?  Or is it just how my body and mind have decided to live out this portion of my life.

I would like to know, if for no other reason than my own sanity, what others think.  For those that are around my age or older, do you still enjoy racing?  Did there come a time in your life where you changed from running to race to racing to run like I have?  For those not around my age, what are your thoughts? Am I in the minority when it comes to this?

Let me know.

While I wait to see what everyone else thinks, I will continue to revel in my alarm going off and in hitting the roads to follow the plan that Coach has set for me.  I will continue to bask in the glow of my training runs and accomplishing them, knocking them off day by day.  And, since it is hard for me to let go of things, I will continue to stress about and fear race days.

Progression (And That Someone)

Having recently talked about my work location changes, it got me thinking about progression in facets of my life.  Progression of getting things at work set up and approved for the assignment in Colorado Springs is just one of the items that I have been tracking and thinking about lately.

Another that has been on my mind for a long time is my running progression and getting back to a semblance of shape that I used to be in prior to my hamstring injuries.  While I know that I likely will never be able to spin my wheels on the streets as fast as I used to, I do know that I have some racing left in me and am training to get to the point where I can do that.  My training has been going quite well.  I am pleased to say the least.  My coach has me up to around 50 miles a week and we just bumped up the number of days per week I am training from 5 to 6.  This progression has been metered out slowly over the past 4-5 months so that I do not have a reoccurrence of my hamstring issues and to force me to make sure I am working not only on my running, but also on keeping my muscles and core strengthened.  While we are slowly bumping up the mileage, we are also bumping up the types of workouts I am completing, track intervals, progression runs, tempos, fartlek runs, wave tempos.  Getting back into these types of runs is infusing my spirit.  I didn't realize how much I had been missing getting some laps in on the track.  The big thing I figured out I was missing was the feeling you get after completing one of those hard workouts that at first seems daunting when read.  Success breeds success when it comes to running and training.

If I take a look at my life from a somewhat wider focus, there is something that I see that has been present in my work progression as well as running progression, supporting me in these focused areas and contributing to these areas, but also has been present in everything else in my life and I dare say defines my life.  That something is my wife.  Elizabeth truly is my life.  She is the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning.  She is the last thing I think of when I go to sleep.  I do not know that I could keep track of the number of times I think about her during the day when I am at work.

But, you say, how does this fit into the theme of progression?  Getting to the point where I have this immense love for E- has been a steady progression from when I first met her years ago at Clemson.  Have I loved her all of this time?  Of course I have.  But this love is multi-faceted and builds upon itself.  Just as success breeds success in running, love breeds love in life.  We have been married for over 25 years now and I am still finding things about E- that make me grin like a kid and build my love for her.  If someone is your life, you can't help but build your love for them and you can't help but get excited about how your life with them will progress, no matter how long you have had them in your life.  I have been thinking about this a lot lately because as I potentially transition in the work place, I will be away from her for long periods of time and I am not going to like that.  I always want to be around her, mainly just to be around her.  She calms me.  She is my focal point when I need to orient myself.  I am hoping that I will be able to find that focal point over the phone when I need it while in Colorado without her.

Progression. Everything we successfully do in life has a progression.  Everything we unsuccessfully do in life has a progression.  Everything we attempt has a progression.  You get my point.  How you live your life depends on how you meter out that progression.  Be wise in how you progress and items in your life will work themselves out.

What items are you working on right now in your lives?  Do you have a progression plan for them or are you sitting back and just observing how they progress?  No matter which, I hope you have someone in your life that is there with you as you go.  I definitely know I have such a someone and I love her to death.